One Snowy Night or Surprise Shower

A friend recently travelled abroad to Asia and discovered the complexity of electronic commodes. Imagine, if you will, the most complicated commode you have ever seen and not a single bit of directions in English! When she recounted her experience with this wonder of modern technology, I was reminded of my own misadventure with the Japanese interpretation of personal hygiene Utopia....

Here is a nearly unedited version of the email which I sent her confessing my encounter:

It was winter, 1997. I was living in Japan and working at a tutoring school in Isehara. On a typical day, my commute was an hour each way. On this particular day, there had been some flurries and forecasts for snow but life goes on and so does school. So, I drove to work anyway. Well, by the time I got there the snow was coming down harder and people had begun to talk about going home early. In this part of Japan snow does fall but it's rare and even when it comes there is little accumulation. So, we started classes but the snow became a blizzard. The trains shut down, there were no snow plows, and people drove like a Texan on ice. About 8pm the school decided to close and so I left to begin the trek home.

I had grown up in the snow and had no fear of driving. I knew to just take it slow and mentally reviewed how to come out of a fish tail.

I had two minor fender benders within 500 feet of the school from people rear-ending me. However, I pushed forward. I wanted to get home! At 10pm I had only traveled a mile. By then, I had to use the restroom- bad! So, I maneuvered between abandoned cars on the road (yes, they just ABANDONED their cars ON the road- not the side- and walked home!) and made my way to a gas station.

When I located the restroom, therein was the most complicated commode I had ever seen. With only passing trepidation, I took care of my business and then stared at the symbols trying to determine which was the "flush" button. Finally, I chose one that I thought looked appropriate and pushed. Fortunately, I had the forethought to not be sitting on it and was standing off to the side because it wasn't flush. It was the bidet! Next thing I knew, an enormous stream of water was shooting forward and I scrambled to shut the lid! Oh my gosh! There was water everywhere! I thought it
would never stop and I couldn't figure out how to shut it off! Finally, it stopped. I tried to mop up the water without much success. (Japan is notorious for not having paper in their restrooms. We all learned to carry tissues for public restroom usage.)

After an embarrassing amount of time in there, I scooted out and dashed into the safety of my car! I never again attempted to use one of those fancy commodes!

Together Makes a Difference

I'm Still Here

Well, I see it's been well over two months since my last update. This is due to my stress over Math class this summer. I'm happy to report I got an "A", as did Sergeant Dad. This fall we are tackling the next Math requirement. I imagine that I'll be just as stressed. However, this is the last required Math course. Whew!

Strummer has been flexing his musical muscles this summer. He's really learning his guitar and writing music. He has his first gig scheduled for a children's party. I believe he's volunteering his skills, however, it will still be a good experience for him. He has promised me that he'll go through with the school's talent show this year. So, I'll be able to watch him perform and video tape the event- and share it!

Tater is starting college next week. He will be moving into the dorms this week. My nest is quickly emptying! I'm glad he didn't choose a college far away. Hopefully he won't be "too busy" to come and see his Mama every week. Still, I know where he lives, works and goes to school- I can track him down!

Braveheart is, thankfully, still safe. Things are very, very busy for him. His very good friend was seriously injured and now Braveheart is missing his buddy and worried for his recovery. Please keep Braveheart and his compatriots in your prayers.

Sgt. Dad is preparing to go to Kuwait for a few weeks to aid in the transition of soldiers returning to Alaska. He shouldn't be in danger but, still, it IS a war zone. He will have his work cut out for him attempting to keep up with Math from so far away.

As for me, I'm anticipating a very quiet house with Sgt. Dad, Braveheart, and Tater all away. Poor Strummer will have ALL my attention! It's going to seem a big, empty house.

And that's about it. I intend to get back to blogging more regularly but suspect I've lost all my followers. :-)

11:15 pm Sunset

Tater Graduates

Well, Tater graduated this week. I was so proud of him but a little sad at the same time. I really does seem like I was just sending him off for his first day of school. He's grown up to be a great young man and person who, even if he wasn't my son, I'd still like to know. He has great character and a strong work ethic. He's kind to his brothers and respectful of his parents. I am sad that my time of raising him is passing, and basically over, but I'm very excited to see what he'll do with his life. I look forward to watching him evolve into a great man.

Crazy Weather

So, I hear there is a virtual heat wave going on in the east. Humph! We are experiencing cooler temperatures again. This morning it's only 33. We had planned on running outside last night but when I got home it starting raining/freezing rain. Sgt Dad and I had hoped/planned to ride to Chugiak High School today but we decided not to since the temperature is just above freezing.

We had been enjoying warmer temperatures and actual sunshine the past couple of weeks. One day we got up to 56! Here's hoping we have a great summer! Send us the warm!

My Boyfriends

We All Need Our Back Scratched

Real Life, You Just Can't Make It Up!

Quoted from Overheard in the Office

Male worker #1, talking about the future: We probably will all be huge fat blobs staring into our computer screens, like in Wall-E.
Female worker: I doubt it. I bet they'll have a drug that makes everybody really attractive.
Male worker #2: They already do! It's called "alcohol."

Portland, Oregon

via Overheard in the Office,

I Wish I Were Reading

Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows that I LOVE books! Lately, I've been finding time to read. It is such a great escape from the stress of life. I enjoy reading so much that I would love to write my own book, to give another the person the joy I get from a great read.
When I read, the world could fall down around me and I wouldn't notice. If the author is good enough, I LIVE in the world he or she has created. It doesn't matter much to me the author's point of view; first person, narrative, third person, they all captivate me.
I tend not to get into books that are set in present day. I prefer something that is realistic, yet not real- if that makes any sense. Take Harry Potter for example, those books are sort of set in modern day but in a world that is very different from reality. I love Stephen King too. He also writes in modern day but a very different world from our own. I think he has a reputation for his gory horrors but there is much more to him that that. His Gunslinger series is a great, epic tale and not at all like Cujo or Carrie. My all time favorite has to be Diana Gabaldon and her Outlander series. Her books are HUGE (even longer than HP books) but the story is so good that it doesn't feel like a long book. Her writing is so captivating that I blazed through the first five of the series is under a month. I gave myself headaches from marathon reading!
There's not really a point to this post, no great nugget of my mind, just a simple statement about my love of reading. It's my reward for a job well done. When I'm overwhelmed at work, I just think about the great book waiting to be picked up when I get home!
And now, I'm off to read!

Tater Goes to Prom

Here's a very lovely picture of Tater with his girlfriend on their way to Senior Prom. Aren't they a lovely couple?

Alaskan Lesson

One day last week as I was driving to work, I noticed this woman driving aggressively. She was tailgating, weaving in and out of traffic, and speeding when she found a little hole. She was driving a small, mid-ranged, silver sedan, and her fancy work clothes were swinging on a hanger hung from one of those convenient hooks that cars sometimes have. I observed her dangerous trip from the time she first passed me on Bragaw as I exited the highway, all the way until we turned onto Northern Lights. I have to admit that I was annoyed by her aggressive behavior.
This type of driving is not the norm here in Alaska. I've noticed that the majority of Alaskans are patient drivers, allowing people into traffic and merging- yes merging! Of course, there are those that don't follow the rules of the road and polite society but as a whole they, no we, are polite drivers. Secretly, I think that all those aggressive drivers must be transplants.
Since I relocated to Alaska, I've learned so much from the people around me. Alaskans seems to have a slower way of life that isn't the norm in the bigger cities I've called home. The rush-rush-rush of the city hasn't made its way to Alaska. People here know that everything will get done in its time. Stressing and rushing doesn't help. It just makes you stressed.
Which brings me back to Ms. Silver Sedan. You may have noticed that I mentioned I observed her erratic, dangerous driving for several miles. This is because, for all her rushing, dangerous driving, and (assumed) stress, she didn't get any further ahead! I just plodded along, obeying the rules of the road, knowing that I would get to work when I got there, all my work would be waiting, and NOTHING bad would happen if I wasn't there exactly at 8:00 am. The world would not stop; no one would die. Best of all, when I got to work, I didn't start my day stressed out and coming down from a self-inflicted adrenaline rush.

Wake up call

Apparently Redoubt erupted. No further news.

Some People Are Characters and What I Learned at Work Today

Note: I wrote this a couple of years ago and never published it.... not sure why but I like the thought, so here it is. :-)

There's commercial for cable TV right now that has the tag line, "Characters Wanted". The point of these ads is that this network has unique characters. Anyway, they have shows with really wonderful, unique characters. They don't just slog through life in an ordinary way but make the ordinary extraordinary.

In life, some people are characters. Some people have that knack for finding humor in daily life, for retelling a story so that you laugh out loud, or are just so unique that "character" is the only word describes them. Sometimes people mean this in a somewhat negative way but the way I mean is not negative at all. It's totally positive and I'm a bit jealous. I would love to be a character, a person who is just FUN.

Which leads to my dual title. One of the women with whom I have the pleasure to work is a character. She's just so fun to know and always has a way of making me look at things in a new way. In fact, I suspect her entire family is made up of characters. Her mom even recently made a boot for a chicken whose leg was injured! A boot! for a chicken! Awesome! It's because of her that I learned what Schmuck really means. Do you know? I know what we think it means and how we use it, but its true meaning is, well, you can read it about it here.

So, here's to being unique and letting your inner geek arise, or inner book worm, or whatever it is that makes you, you!

Braveheart News

Well, this will be a short one since I'm at work and don't want to take advantage and I don't have much news.
Braveheart is doing well. He called this morning and chatted. He says he's been very busy but can't really tell much about what he's been doing. So far everyone is safe. He was amazed at the darkness of the night there and the number of stars he can see. He's seen camels carrying sheep and little children! He talked about how different life is for the Afghan people. He said most of them live in mud huts without electricity. He talked about how strange it is not seeing power lines. That's about it. Over time he'll learn more about what he can share and I'll pass on what I can. I'm just glad he's been calling regularly. I always feel such relief when I hear his voice and he sounds good!

Tater's Art-WOW!

Proud Mamma Moment

Well, Tater quit Burger King several weeks ago and has had difficulty finding another job. However, his search has ended.
Last Friday I saw that Game Stop is opening in the mini mall on Elmendorf and recommended that Tater apply. So, he called the number from the sign and spoke to the regional manager. He asked Tater for his resume (how many 17 year olds have a resume???). So, he and I prepared a resume and mailed it off. So either Saturday or Sunday the regional manager calls for a telephone interview. He tells Tater all about the job. Then today he calls and tells Tater to fill out an online application. Not long after he called and told Tater that he had awesome references and offers him the job! All without a face-to-face interview! (I told Tater that his excellent work ethic would benefit him.) So, Tater starts next week. He'll train at one of the existing stores and then work the new Game Stop when it opens the first week of April. I can't believe how much they are paying him- it's enough to make me go "hmm". Maybe I'd like retail work (not!). He seems pretty excited about the job. There aren't too many better jobs for a young video game junkie!

Meandering Thoughts

Here in Alaska we are all thrilled that the sun is making its comeback. I'm happy to say that we've actually had bright, sunny days- at least partially sunny. I can't imagine how much more so this annual occurrence was welcomed in the days when people lived in cabins. I long for summer days with open windows, barbecues, and short sleeves. I enjoy the snow but I'm ready now for green and flowers.
Braveheart is settling into life in Afghanistan. He told me the spiders there are enormous. I found out they are called Camel Spiders and are arachnids but not true spiders. They are huge and ugly! I found some videos on YouTube but they aren't fit for a family blog. Soldiers do not censor their language very well when freaked out by a spider! There's not much else to say about Braveheart. He's still learning what he can share, as am I. However, I would like for everyone to pray for his safety. We never know when he's really going to need it!
Tater is gearing up for graduation. He's directionless right now for his future plans. I'm concerned about this because I think a person needs goals or they just flounder in life. I remember how overwhelming life can be at that age and I think the reality of becoming an adult is slowly sinking in. I'm confident he'll find his path shortly.
Strummer is still greatly enjoying guitar and has recently taken up skateboarding. There's a little skate park available on the air force base and he's been spending a great deal of time over there. So far there have been no broken bones.
Sgt Dad is enjoying a lull in travel and he and I plan on taking Math together this summer. We've been out of school so long that a placement test is in order. Fortunately, I already passed but Sgt Dad is going to have to retest or take a developmental course. As I type, he's cramming to retake the test. He's pretty good with mathematical concepts in general and I have every confidence he'll refresh his memory and pass. Tater, by the way, aced the test and placed right into college Algebra. At least we'll have a tutor right in the house!

Untitled

My Braveheart has made it to his duty station. He sounds well and I was amazed at the quality of the connection. He didn't have much time to talk and didn't have an address for me yet. He told me that it's going to be a bigger adjustment that he anticipated. One thing he mentioned is that while walking around the base, soldiers are required to keep their hands out of their pockets. I'm looking forward to hearing how life is for him there and can't wait for pictures. I'm doing much better now. However, I better not have any unexpected, uniformed visitors!

One Reason I Love the Military.....

.......grown men playing dodgeball! Awesome!

Braveheart's Adventures

Braveheart's (formerly Ranger) departure to Afghanistan is right around the corner. I can't help but be touched by his bravery even though I don't think he fully realizes how brave he is. He is well trained and ready. I, on the other hand, have not really prepared myself.

It's very hard to let go of him. He's a man but he's still fairly innocent and naive. I know after this experience he will no longer be either. He will have gone through things that I have only read about or seen in the news or movies. He will be stronger and tougher. He will be changed.

I hope and pray that he will come home whole, both physically and emotionally. I hope he will hold to his faith and stay true to his moral conscience. I hope he will be a leader.

I guess all parents have to let go some time but in my mind I always see my little boy. My little Braveheart who has always dreamed of military service. My sweet boy who set his alarm clock one Mother's Day morning to make me breakfast in bed. My sweet boy who told me he loves me more than all the sand in the world, the grass on the ground and all trees.

Deep inside that soldier I see standing before me is my sweet little boy. And I think that, maybe, no matter what that soldiers sees and experiences, when he sees his Mommy, a little bit of that sweet boy will always be there.

Welcome Home Sgt Dad

Sgt Dad made it safely home from Thailand last night. We elected to enjoy a night to ourselves and abandoned our children to stay downtown. We enjoyed a long, relaxing dinner, spent some time chatting and playing pool, stayed up late watching TV, slept in, and, finally, enjoyed a relaxing breakfast. It was great. No messy house or arguing teenagers to interrupt us!
Unfortunately, we had to come home to reality all too soon.
When, we came home this morning, we couldn't find the remote for the TV, discovered the boys had taken over the living room with their video games and accessories, and, worst of all, young Strummer had slept right through his alarm and is not in school! I guess it's time to take away his computer privileges so that he gets himself to bed at a decent hour. Despite these setbacks, it was worth it to have some uninterrupted time to visit with Sgt Dad after his long absence.

Now it's time for a hotel review. Last night we stayed at the Marriott in downtown Anchorage. It was pretty pricey but did have a great view of the water and downtown buildings. I also liked the heavy down comforter on the bed. Big plus, it was nice and clean. The room, lobby, hallways and elevators all smelled clean and fresh. Still, it was basically just an ordinary hotel room with upgraded bedding and quality staff. The negatives were the price, lack of on site parking, and the shower didn't have very good pressure or a good shower head. Personally, I don't think I'd spend the money to stay there again. I could have spent half that for a hotel just a nice if we were just looking for a place to lay our heads.
On the other had, before Sgt Dad left for Thailand, we stayed at the Dimond Center Hotel. It almost looks like a warehouse from the outside but inside is a very nice hotel. It was more expensive than the Marriott but when you factor in the cost of parking and breakfast (no complimentary breakfast at the Marriott) the two hotels cost about the same. The Dimond Center Hotel is not downtown but is in a major shopping center and has everything that one could want right nearby. This hotel has all the amenities that make for a luxurious stay. The room has very high ceilings and feels very spacious. Every room features an enormous bathtub (big enough for two) and a separate shower. It also has a nice heavy down comforter, quality linens and big, fluffy bathrobes. Our room had a small refrigerator and Krups coffee maker. The room is designed with large windows separating the bathtub from the main room that can be opened so that one could watch TV while soaking in the tub (which I did and LOVED!).
Needless to say, that is my hotel of choice for a special weekend. When traveling and I just need a place to sleep for the night, then Motel6 will be just fine but if the intent is for something special- then I want Dimond Center Hotel!

Flowers from Ranger

Happy Valentine's Day

In younger days, Valentine's Day was a BIG deal to me. I mean, if I didn't get flowers and properly romanced on V-day, there was no possible way my guy "loved" me, right? I was very uptight about it, everything had to be perfect and fit into what I thought was romantic. I couldn't grasp the concept that this was a silly holiday and mainly blown out of proportion by restaurateurs, florists, and other retailers to boost sales. That it truly does take away the romance of spontaneity. In my immature mind I kept thinking, "...but it's VALENTINE'S DAY!"
To Sgt Dad's credit, he has always gone along with the peer pressure and bought flowers and fought the crowds to take me to dinner. I'm not completely jaded to the day. I still like to get flowers and go to dinner but there's not this mental build up to 'prove' anything anymore. Flowers on V-day are nice but much more special and meaningful on some random day in July. Jewelry sparkles on V-day but radiates when it's a special gift after Sgt Dad has been away. I mean, anyone can conform to societal pressure to romance on Valentine's Day but when it truly comes from the heart because he loves me or has missed me- BANG- there's the real romance!
Having said all that, I'm still extra lonely this Valentine's Day. I mean, yes it's a forced day of romance but it is nice that collectively we remember to be romantic and appreciate each other one day a year. I had been feeling a little blue this year because Sgt Dad has been away since January 20th. However, when I got home from work yesterday there was a beautiful bouquet of white roses on my coffee table. My sweet Ranger had bought them for me. I was so touched by his thoughtfulness. How sweet of him to make sure I had flowers on Valentine's Day!

It's all relative

When Sgt Dad was a drill sergeant he worked very long hours. He was often exhausted. I've never worked the crazy hours he did nor done as much physical labor. I really admired him for all he was able to do. However, during this time I could never complain to him that I was tired or sore. If I was tired and said so, he would respond, "YOU'RE tired?" I would explain, that yes I was tired and that my being tired in no way negated his exhaustion or took away from him being more tired than I was. That always drove me crazy. I was no less compassionate to his need for rest but just because he was MORE tired, didn't mean that I couldn't be tired too.
I was thinking about this today because he's been away for a few weeks and I really miss him. However, I can't really complain about it because I know too many women whose husbands are leaving for an entire year to a war zone. I feel bad complaining because it could be so much worse. I'm really lucky that Sgt dad is just away for a few weeks and not off to the war.
It's like the skinny girl and the fat girl. Skinny girl was sick, gained a few pounds and now feels all fat and miserable. She complains to her fat friend, who needs to lose 80 pounds. Fat friend is frustrated because she's so fat and skinny girl's situation seems so much better. What's 10 pounds compared to 80? Both women need to lose weight and feel bad, but in comparison, skinny girl doesn't have a lot to complain about.
The point is, it's relative. Just because Sgt Dad is only gone for five weeks doesn't lessen the fact that I miss him and want him home, or lessen the fact that I could be tired even when he was more tired or that skinny girl does need to lose 10 pounds when fat friend needs to lose 80. However, less tired me, less lonely me, and skinny friend could remember that, though we do have something to complain about, it could be much, much worse.

'Cause I'm a Lady!

For radio shows, the morning rush is the most important time frame of the day. Radio stations around the country all have some kind of show and/or gimmick.
Having lived in many different regions, I have had the opportunity to sample a good deal of morning radio shows.
Anchorage is seriously lacking in quality morning rush entertainment. Most of the shows are, quite simply, insipid. After months of channel surfing, I finally settled on the Woody and Wilcox show for my morning commute.
These two guys are not comic geniuses and recently found themselves in the midst of a scandal for making a stupid, ethnically insensitive joke. There was a lot of talk about it around town. Personally, I think they were less racist and more stupid. However, that is not the point of this post.
Some of the bits these guys do are fun, like Anchorage Craigslist. In this bit, one of the hosts finds odd craigslist items and the other has to guess how much the seller is asking for the item. They find some strange things for sale. Once there was a listing for "lots of skulls"! Every week they manage to find someone attempting to sell a used shower curtain. The hosts think that is just the funniest thing.
Some of their bits are just stupid and junior high level humor. The one that is the dumbest (and the time when I turn the station) is called, "Fun with Football". In this bit, they take clips from football commentators and take them out of context to make them sound dirty. This bit is something my brother would have literally rolled on the floor laughing over- 15 years ago!
Anyway, as you probably realize, most of these morning shows have some kind of catch phrase that callers are supposed to say at the end of the call. I think Woody and Wilcox had some kind of contest for theirs. They have a catch phrase and reply which is: "Trust your hang" and "Tarp your load". Say what? I HATE these phrases! I'm not really sure what they mean but I guess it's referring to male anatomy or some kind of maleness.....
Which brings me to the point of this post. I will never call that show because I will not use their catchphrases .............

Because I'm a Lady

and I won't say such questionable things- especially on the radio!

All Eyes on Redoubt

Well, as you've heard, we in Alaska are all anticipating an eruption from Mt. Redoubt.

This is an image from a webcam that is focused on the volcano. It's far enough away that we aren't worried about rocks and lava flow, however, the ash fall could be nasty.

Those of you who have known me for any length of time know that I am a world class procrastinator. However, I'm quite pleased to announce that I have already purchased face masks! In case you didn't know, ash from a volcano is nasty stuff if it gets in your lungs. What this really means though is that I do believe this volcano will erupt. I haven't yet purchased air filters for my vehicles but I do plan on it.

The boys and I wonder though- if it erupts, will we lose TV signal? internet? cell phone? If so, whatever will we do?

(Just kidding, the boys are freaked but I'm thinking that I have about a dozen books that I haven't made time to read!)

Ranger News

Well, I'm am still uninspired as to Ranger's new nickname, so, I guess I'll just stick with it.

Ranger got his orders this week for Afghanistan. Wow was that tough for me. It just made me realize that he's not going in some vague future but very soon.

Last Tuesday Fort Richardson hosted a big predeployment ceremony at Sullivan Arena. The governor, Sarah Palin, was the main speaker. I was very impressed that she attended the entire ceremony AND stayed after the ceremony for a couple of hours, shaking hands and posing for countless myspace photos with young soldiers off to fight this war on terror. Whatever your political leanings may be, you have to respect a politician who will take that amount of time to honor the soldiers. I do anyway.

File Under,"Duh"

The Office?

Once upon a time, I was an auditor. Not a tax auditor but a paperwork auditor. My job included data entry of comments from a job, detailing the work done, parts used, price charged, etc.

In doing this, I had to remove a great deal of staples from the checks and credit card slips attached to the work orders.One day I thought to myself, “I sure remove a lot of staples in a day.” So, I decided to pile them up to see how many there were in a day.

About that same time, I emptied my tissue box. Then genius struck! I started collecting those removed staples to see how many I removed in a week, and then a month. Finally, I decided to see just how long it would take to fill the tissue box.

The answer is: about two and a half years!

About nine months after I began my quest, I moved to Alaska and therefore had to quit my job. All was not lost in my quest however. You see, my mother was hired as my replacement and so I bequeathed the tissue box to her with the request that she keep filling it. Surprisingly, she did.

So today, after filling the tissue box, my former co-workers had a Staple Send Off party.

Goodbye my staple-filled tissue box.

Uninspired

Well, I have not blogged in some time. I keep thinking about it but I have just been uninspired. I have yet to rename Ranger due to his job change. I tried to come up with something but nothing has seemed to fit yet. Some ideas are Grunt Boy, Pvt Son, Jumper, Airborne but none seem just right.
Sgt. Dad is in Thailand again. Tater quit his job at Burger King. He got tired of food and the managers. He's looking for another job but pretty much every other job will require him having a car as there isn't anything else in reasonable walking distance. Strummer continues his quest for guitar greatness. He's actually sounding pretty good. He entered his school's talent contest. I can't wait for that.
As for me, Sgt. Dad and I have been running which is killing my knees. I had to back off a bit. I also started spinning again, which I LOVE. A friend talked me into Zumba class last night. So not my cup of tea! I have no dancing skills, no rythm and not a lot of coordination. I did, however, get pretty sweaty so I must have done some good.
Once I find some inspiration, I'll find something other than random family events to blog. For now, this mundane little update is all I've got.